Thorns Have Roses (Naruto, Kakashi/Iruka)

This was not going to end well. Kakashi slowly lowered his book and glared at the special jounin standing in front of him. Genma was lucky that Kakashi considered him a friend, and that they’d been friends since they were both teenagers, otherwise Genma would have gone through the wall by now. He straightened himself up to his full height.

“Would you care to repeat that?”

“We,” Genma started, gesturing to the two jounin standing in line behind him. Their terrified looks and vehement head-shaking suggested that Genma’s ‘we’ was really an ‘I’. “…thought that you might have been having certain… problems. You know, in that area. ‘Cause, you know, it’s been a while since you’ve dated anyone. I mean, a really long while, and you’re always reading that porn so we thought…”

This was not the kind of conversation that Kakashi wanted to have on the way back home from a very long mission. It was not the kind of conversation that he’d particularly imagined himself having, ever, but he knew, logically, that his nerves were a bit frayed at the moment, so any gut reaction he went with would probably be considered rash. Even if it was justified. Even if it was really tempting and deserved on Genma’s part and the other two jounin who’d accompanied them on their mission – and had to suffer through Genma’s antics along with Kakashi for the last two weeks – would probably thank him for it. But, he didn’t want to be put on psychiatric leave for injuring a teammate in a non-combat situation. Again.

Come to think of it, last time he’d been forced on leave, Genma had been the instigator then as well.

He forced himself to remain calm and rational. Thanks to the mask obscuring his face, he doubted the other jounin had any idea that he was even aggravated. “So you thought that because I read porn all the time and haven’t dated anyone recently…” How long had it been? Maybe it had been a bit too long if he couldn’t even remember the last person he’d fucked. “…that I’m impotent.”