Inspiration (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Danny/Matt)

The clock on the wall was mocking him, ticking away every new second of his entirely unfunny life and reminding him in big, bold, red numbers exactly how much he was going to blow this episode. Blow or get blown, but that would have to come later, because right now he had to write. No sex until the writing was done. That was the rule.

Two scenes. All they needed was two more scenes of something at least reasonably funny. He was good at funny, sometimes. Not today it seemed, but today was all he had left because they needed to practice and he could pull off something last minute but he hated doing that. It never turned out the same as something rehearsed. But he was running out of time, which meant he didn’t really have a choice, he just needed something and they could fix it after rehearsal. He’d settle for anything really. Hell, right now, he’d settle for funny’s ugly but kind of nice second cousin twice removed, the one with the buck teeth and awkward smile that still knew exactly what to say to make everything alright. He’d take funny’s drunken uncle that wasn’t really funny at all but you couldn’t not laugh because that was the quickest way to make him go away.

Matt stared at the blank document in front of him and groaned. He was making up a fake family for funny. This was so not good. He felt like he needed a cigarette, except he didn’t smoke, which meant he needed sex, which he wasn’t going to get. A good roast beef sandwich would probably make a decent substitute, but he was fairly certain none of the delis nearby were open this late.

Red numbers continued to turn, counting down the end of his life.