Casulties of War (X-men: First Class, Erik/Charles)

The missiles were a distraction. Shaw’s too well trained to give him any more than that, though even if he hadn’t had months, years maybe, of practice keeping telepaths out of his head, the pain of the coin passing through his head, through their heads, would have been enough to keep Charles from digging. It’s hard enough just to hold on, to keep Shaw still. Every instinct in him tells him to let go, to run from the pain. He’d spent a good deal of his childhood learning to avoid pain but he wasn’t one to back down, not when it really mattered. Not when letting go meant putting Erik in considerable danger, and he’d rather live through a thousand deaths than lose Erik.

There is no fear in Shaw as he passes, only smug satisfaction. He believes that his legacy will live on and that even if by some miracle they manage to stop the current threat, the danger won’t stop there. Someone else will pick up his mission. He’d seen to that.

Charles steps from the plane. He needs to tell Erik, to warn Moira, before he forgets. He needs to tell them about the other danger while it’s still fresh in his mind, before he can forget. He does forget. There are missiles pointed at them, and it seems counterproductive to worry them about a danger that isn’t even real yet when death is staring down at them. Then Erik and Moira are fighting. He’d never been shot before. It hurts far worse than he’d imagined, though not nearly as agonizing as Shaw’s death.

He wonders if he’s going to die, here on the beach. Erik’s arms are around him and it’s fitting to die there. He’s okay with dying in Erik’s arms as long as it’s never, ever the other way around.

But he doesn’t die. Erik leaves him. He walks away, something Charles worries he’ll never be able to do again, and he’s taking Raven with him. The sight of their retreating backs is like a second gunshot, piercing him straight through the heart.

Everything’s a blur after that. He’s in shock, he thinks. His head goes light from blood loss and for a while he just floats. As he floats he can feel Raven and Erik getting farther and farther from him.

They put him in a hospital. He’s not sure where. There’re drugs, a thin line of fluids dripping steadily into his arm. They’re supposed to dull the pain, to make him feel less than he already does but they make him feel more. He feels all of the people around him, coming and going. Living people. Dying people. He feels every one of their deaths as if it’s his own, each passing only serving to remind him that Erik’s gone.