Beans (244 words) by gryvon
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Roy Mustang, Edward Elric
Additional Tags: Drabble, Crack
Summary:

There are reasons why Ed is normally not invited to dinner.

“I probably shouldn’t have thrown it at him.”

A single, thin, black eyebrow arched in response, one corner of the man’s lips twitching slightly before stilling again. His mouth remained firmly shut.

Blonde bangs waved suddenly as an explosive sigh signaled the other man’s defeat. He slumped back into his chair, limbs melting against the frame. “Fine. I definitely shouldn’t have thrown it at him.”

The quirk of lips couldn’t be held back this time, and the black-haired man’s lips twitched into an amused smile tainted with the man’s natural smugness.

“Lieutenant General Hayes?”

The blonde pushed forward in his chair to glare defiantly at the man seated on the other side of the desk. “He shouldn’t have said that!”

Gloved fingers tented in front of the Colonel’s face, concealing the broad grin that he could no longer hold back.

“And what was that, Fullmetal?”

Edward Elric launched into a near-foaming rage, screaming at the top of his lungs in outrage. “Who does he think is small like a bean so that it makes you want to step on him and squish him? An astronomical chibi smaller than a speck of dust! A shrimp that….”

Colonel Roy Mustang chuckled silently, his mirth unnoticed by the ranting young man in front of him. He wondered who he’d have to bribe to get a copy of a picture of the legendary Fullmetal Alchemist going mad because the visiting Lieutenant General asked him to pass the beans.